Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Storing September

You ask me what I did today,
I could pretend and say
“I don’t remember.”
But, no, I’ll tell you what I did today--
I stored September.
Sat in the sun and let the sun sink in,
Let all the warmth of it caress my skin.
When winter comes, my skin will still remember
The day I stored September.
And then, my eyes--
I filled them with the deepest, bluest skies
and all the traceries of wasps and butterflies.
When winter comes, my eyes will still remember
The day they stored September.
And then there was cricket song to fill my ears!
And the taste of grapes
And the deep purple of them!
And asters, like small clumps of sky. . .
You know how much I love them.
That’s what I did today
And I know why.
Just simply for the love of it,
I stored September.

-Elizabeth Rooney

Friday, September 11, 2015

Stuff and Consuming

Things carry an energy, and mostly, it’s the energy of the meaning we’ve assigned to them. If you don’t believe me, step inside a dim, cluttered space. That “yuck” feeling you get? Yeah. That.
But things get that way because our “yuck” instincts are voided out by our screaming minds that tell us they’re necessary. We collect pseudo-useful shit because the brilliant minds that craft the advertising-industrial-consumerist-half-human complex need to build a need for things where there is none.
This feeds the fear pit we develop when we’re young, when we (often subconsciously) realize that the way you look – which mostly has to do with what you have, and is therefore a representation of how much money you have, which is how money begins to equal worth – determines your social standing, and your dating pool. (This tends to only be true as kids sort into cliques and social labels, but as we all know, foundations we lay in childhood are what we build our lives on.) Those things – social standing and dating – at a core level, translate to us as inclusiveness, survival and pro-creation. We’re neurologically and physiologically hard-wired to freak out if we don’t have them.
So our desire to consume, and keep in excess, and seek in excess, is associated with this core need. The process of letting that go is learning to see and think with a grown-up mind, one that can process animal instincts in a way that a child brain cannot. This is brutal and gripping and raw and if you think those words are exaggerated you have not yet done it. Your base instincts are being dismantled, and if we know anything about those guys, it’s that they fight to keep themselves known.
But once they’ve been rationalized – talked down, sorted through, leveled out – the rest is pretty easy. Since I left the last box of clothes off at Goodwill, I’ve noticed even the smallest details of my life changing.
I spend significantly less money. I eat better. I sleep better. My relationships are flourishing in ways I never could have conceived of before. My work is easier because my space is usually feels inspiring. I’m more grounded. There’s less to do in the day. I must be routine, and clean, and mindful. There’s no other choice. I have, in some subconscious, physical way (which is always easier than trying to beat your consciousness into submission) let go of so many years of packed up attachments.

All Of My Belongings Fit In One Box: My Journey Of Radical Decluttering via thought catalog.com

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

One, and then another and another

“Yeah, some crappy things have happened. And yeah, you’ve made some bad choices, but all you have to do is make one good decision. And then another after that. Keep making good decisions and things will get better.” 

-Louis C.K. NPR interview

Monday, September 7, 2015


"A family seems exactly like an archipelago. All part of the same whole, but still separate and alone and always drifting slowly apart."

- The Decendants movie


Friday, September 4, 2015

Foreboding Joy

Brene Brown on foreboding joy and numbing ...

How many of you, when something great is happening, start dress rehearsing tragedy.  Like what is going to come take this away...

That is the best barometer to measure your capacity for vulnerability...here's why...

Joy is the most vulnerable emotion you can experience, and if you can not tolerate joy, what you do is start dress rehearsing tragedy.

People who have the most profound capacity for joy, can lean into vulnerability.  Those people who could soften into joy, when something really blissful is happening also got this feeling like whoaaaaaa...but instead of using it a warning to start practicing disaster, they used it as a reminder to start practicing gratitude.


Quotes from Brene Brown here: 

When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun, and fear is the annoying backseat driver.

We struggle with perfectionism in areas we feel most vulnerable to shame.

All perfectionism is - is a way of thinking that says if I look perfect, work perfect, live perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism, blame, and ridicule.

All perfectionism is is a 20 ton shield that we carry around hoping it will keep us from being hurt, but in truth it keeps us from being seen.

It depends if I've got a worthiness crutch going on...healthy striving is internally focused, perfectionism is not about what I want, but what will people think.

You can't ever do anything brave, if you're wearing the straightjacket of what will people think.