Blame is simply the discharging of pain and discomfort.
It has nothing to do with accountability.
Accountability requires long, difficult, respectful conversations. Blame
fizzles out with rage, where accountability is in for the long haul.
Self-righteousness is a sign of fear and uncertainty.
It has nothing to do with activism or
change. The loudest and most vitriolic among us are often the most
afraid. As my friend Harriet Lerner says, “Change requires listening
with same level of passion that we feel when we speak.”
You can't shame a nation into changing any more than you can shame a person into changing.
Shame is much more likely to be the source
of destructive, violent behaviors than it is to be the cure. We need
courage, vulnerability, hard work, empathy, integrity (and a little
grace wouldn't hurt).
-Brene Brown
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